Chatting, Not Nickparking in Chat Room from stefanp's blog

Just coming from the chatroom. The member list shows 16 users...the last lines in room were written 17 minutes ago - and the last six lines consisted of only one or two (in numbers 1 or 2!!!) words.


I know...most of us are in their homeoffices, chatting is a nice way to get distracted from work or to clear brain. I do that too. But i don't think that ALL are busy with other things. And not all are working when they are in chatroom, because they have retired, a day off or simply holidays.


The question is: Why is nobody talking, as the room was built exactly for that purpose? Is it the fact that (as often) we only have male members no one wants to chat with another male member? Maybe all are waiting for a lady to enter - like the phenomenon that only ladies's pics get commented (and if you delete the words nice, sexy, wonderful, most comments were empty...)?


If I dont want to talk, i just leave and try not to park my nick there. At least i set status as not active, but only a few know about that room feature.


Why i make up this post? Well, he result of this behaviour does not support chat: In these moments I know that even a "hello" is a wasted word and i leave without typing anything. That's not polite and is another phenomenon i often watch: People enter, check member list and run without a greeting, but maybe that is connected to an issue i already have mentioned.


So maybe at least a line with a complete sentence would be nice. Internet is fast, digitalization even faster, but there should be the time to write a complete sentence. So all who enter the room see that there is a chat room filled with living people and not lurkers waiting for what i dont want to know.

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lakeviewmark Gold
Aug 4 '21, 05:35AM
lakeviewmark I agree Stefan. I am there now and room has 10 people none speaking
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Leo78 Platinum
Aug 14 '21, 11:33AM
Leo78 I agree
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NaturallySuited Lifetime
Sep 21 '21, 03:56PM
NaturallySuited Thanks for the blog, Stefan. I want to add some personal insights that expand on some of your ideas. Unfortunately, as with any free-to-join nude site, there will always be lurkers, voyeurs and exhibitionists (LVE’s). As a community of nudists, we should call-out apparently fake nudists (respectfully) and seek clarification of motives and intent. If it is obvious a member is not acting in accord with the site's principles, then we should all be willing to report them to JN to be sorted out. Nancy and JN cannot monitor everything and are greatly dependent on a self-monitoring community.

Beyond the LVE’s that are in the chat room for other purposes, I think the lack of conversation is because many members only want shallow, pseudo friendships. They are content to engage in trifling “conversations” of “hi”, “how’s it going”, or “what’s your weather like”. It is analogous to meeting someone on the street and asking “How are you?” -- no one really expects more than a one word response like “fine”, “ok” or “great”. I know I might be uneasy if someone really started telling me about their problems.

I have intentionally tried to raise [slightly] deeper topics for discussion, designed to reveal a bit more about the persons on the other side of the screen. Thoughtful answers to deeper questions forge real friendship through common interests and shared experiences. In all honesty, it is hard work and takes precious time to truly engage this way. Perhaps the very nature of an open-forum chat room promotes the very frivolity you and I rail against. I have asked the question to JN if additional rooms (topic focused? limited number of participants? other qualifiers?) might be created ad hoc. It appears the room technology would support it but there are likely underlying issues that prevent it (e.g., server capacity or licensing).

For one-on-one discussions there is always private chat or JN Messenger, but these can lose the intellectual stimulation inherent in three or more contributing to a topic. Therefore, I find myself drawn toward the forums, blogs and wall posts. These avenues are more asynchronous than “chat” (well, assuming your chat is responded to) but can lead to more insightful interactions. For myself, I will continue to drop in on the chat room occasionally; but, with very limited expectation of meaningful engagement.

And so, I stop my rant now.

How’s your weather?
Thanks for the blog, Stefan. I want to add some personal insights that expand on some of your ideas. Unfortunately, as with any free-to-join nude site, there will always be lurkers, voyeurs and exhibi...See more
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TroyandOlivia Lifetime
Sep 21 '21, 05:17PM
TroyandOlivia I've popped in on the chat room a few times this week and yes, sometimes it's as a diversion while I'm at work or taking my mind off of other things. I did take part briefly in a conversation about covid vaccinations and after that a few jokes and commentary on some things vbake had going in the oven. But there have been a few times that I've popped in and left because there didn't seem to be much going on or the conversation at the time wasn't of much interest to me. I'm not much of a sports enthusiast so when the conversation is about the latest ball game on television my eyes tend to glaze over. I'm game to chat with most anyone regardless of gender or other characteristics as long as the conversation is polite and interesting to me. Also, if I get called away to work I sometimes have to leave abruptly.I've popped in on the chat room a few times this week and yes, sometimes it's as a diversion while I'm at work or taking my mind off of other things. I did take part briefly in a conversation about co...See more
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TroyandOlivia Lifetime
Sep 21 '21, 05:20PM
TroyandOlivia Well dang it! I wasn't finished yet. Lol. I do agree that there is the LVE factor out there too and I find it very cringeworthy whenever I see it. It's not what nudism / naturism is supposed to be about to me. I think it's fine to appreciate the beauty and uniqueness of the human body without having to make creepy comments about it. I'm not sure why so many struggle with that concept.Well dang it! I wasn't finished yet. Lol. I do agree that there is the LVE factor out there too and I find it very cringeworthy whenever I see it. It's not what nudism / naturism is supposed to be abo...See more
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stefanp Lifetime
Sep 22 '21, 12:37AM
stefanp Thank you for your comments...the LVEs are a problem, but i think this community here is quite aware of those and trying to do the best. I love interesting discussions as well, especially when they go deeper about any topic...and i would NEVER cut out any topic from a chatroom (kinda of...no politics, no religion etc.), but these topics often tend to end up in shouting, because many have forgotten to respect other attitudes and simply want their beliefs to be stated the only truth. they forget about learning from others and especially this room offers so many chances, because we all come from different parts of the world with different cultures, attitudes, beliefs etc. this is on the other hand a big problem...talking about time difference...when interesting discussions might take place, let's say with members coming from USA, it is in the middle of the night in Germany...but anyway...i enjoy being here and we all try to make the best out of it!Thank you for your comments...the LVEs are a problem, but i think this community here is quite aware of those and trying to do the best. I love interesting discussions as well, especially when they go...See more
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