25 Worst Decisions You Can Make on a Nude Beach from NaturallySuited's blog


I make a USA distinction here.  Most of these decisions will be poor anywhere in the world.  But, some of them will be more offensive in the USA.

1. Failing to read the posted rules. Every beach has rules. Clothing optional beaches tend to have more rules. Read and follow carefully.

2. Forgetting a towel.  Sand + bare butt = bad.

3. Forgetting to apply sunscreen everywhere.  Especially on parts that don’t usually, er, see the sun, if you know what we mean. (And don’t forget to reapply!)

4. Expecting a scene out of Playboy or Chippendales.  Trust me, nude beaches are only packed with perfect bodies in the movies. It’s liberating seeing so much "imperfection".

5. Using a selfie stick.It’s obnoxious in places where people have their clothes on, so…

6. Close talking.  You don’t like it when people invade your space with clothes on, right? That goes double for a nude beach. Americans prefer three feet of personal space in everyday life, so make it six when naked with strangers.

7. Taking pictures.  This is not the time or place for Instagram, people.

8. Staring.  Need we explain? Don’t be that creepy guy.

9. Running.  Even Baywatch babes needed a swimsuit to look good doing this.

10. Engaging in PDA (public display of affection).  When you’re naked, everything takes on extra meaning. If you can’t keep your hands off your companion, put your clothes on and move back to the regular beach with all the other gropers. Or get a room.

11. Doing yoga poses.  Don’t subject anyone to certain angles of your naked body. The beach yoga photo for your Facebook page will have to wait.

12. Neglecting to have a bathing suit or cover up handy just in case.  Food and recreational facilities nearby may have no affiliation with the beach, and may have health codes to obey. Plus, you need to wear something back to the car.

13. Being ashamed of your body.  Going to a nude beach is supposed to be liberating. It’s not about perfection (see no. 4). If you’re going to spend the whole day squirming, it’s not for you.

14. Making small talk.  Conversing with strangers is such a common habit, it’s easy to forget that in this context, not everyone wants to chat. And if you do find someone who wants to have a conversation, look ‘em in the eyes, buddy.

15. Going with a brand new friend or significant other.  TMI, my friend (unless they are also an acknowledged nudist).

16. Bringing the kids.  This isn’t France.

17.Bending over.  Crouch, don’t bend. You don’t want to give everyone more of a view than they bargained for.

18. Doing anything that could accidentally cause, um, arousal.  This one’s for the guys.

19.Having no shame.  You have to be respectful of the people around you.

20. Failing to hydrate.  Ever see anyone with heat stroke while naked? It’s not pretty.

21. Eating snacks with lots of crumbs.  Again, too many skin crevices, like with the sand.

22. Neglecting to manscape or groom properly.  This one’s a personal choice of course

23. Going with major bikini or tan lines.  Don’t be a cotton-tail - it just looks funny. But everyone must have a 1st time. Be sure to note #3.

24. Using a pickup line.  Unless your ego can withstand the obvious observational comebacks from the now-completely-disgusted object of your (unwanted) attention.

25. Behaving differently than you would at any other beach.  The general rule at a nude beach is to behave normally. So unless your “normal” self is a lewd, gawking, selfie-taking greaseball, strip down and act naturally. It’s what everyone else is there for.


Any other poor decisions to avoid / rules to abide? Add them in the comments.


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admin Lifetime
Sep 29 '21, 06:32AM
admin Nice Blog!
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TXAggieATX Lifetime
Sep 29 '21, 10:31AM
TXAggieATX Thank you for sharing! Great information!
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iHateClothes Verified
Jan 19 '22, 06:29PM
iHateClothes I have a bone to pick with you! For #9, Running is awesome when nude! So much better then when clothed! #16, sure it's not france but many nude beaches are family friendly. Nudity isn't bad for any age. It's great! #17, Bending over. Maybe just look behind you first? Also if someone at a nude beach can't handle an involuntary moon then maybe they shouldn't be there LOL! Anyway great article!I have a bone to pick with you! For #9, Running is awesome when nude! So much better then when clothed! #16, sure it's not france but many nude beaches are family friendly. Nudity isn't bad for any ag...See more
NaturallySuited Verified
Jan 20 '22, 11:17AM
NaturallySuited @iHateClothes Running. No argument that it is very liberating. Been there done that at a landed club. Kids. More for safety sake at a public accessible beach. Again, have been to a family friendly club and the kids were all having a grand time in the curated environment. Mooning. Sure a quick bend is no problem. Extended exposure begins to cross the line between nudist and exhibitionist. Anyway, it is just a suggestion to be aware of. Thanks for the feedback.@iHateClothes Running. No argument that it is very liberating. Been there done that at a landed club. Kids. More for safety sake at a public accessible beach. Again, have been to a family friendly clu...See more
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